dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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