She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
