how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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