covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
