yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
