you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
