i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
