Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my sisters under your porch take her home
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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