im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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