She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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