The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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