I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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