Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
