therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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