Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
