i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
