Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
