She is in my trunk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
