I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize