lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
