Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize