Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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