I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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