I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i came on her dog
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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