You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's the barista slut.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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