saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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