Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
