Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
