Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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