I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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