it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
