Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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