I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she peed on how many people?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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