I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize