I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
