My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
