My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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