it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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