he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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