I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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