this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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