What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you still have your period?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
