I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
