i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
