Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
