He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
