im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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