There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Acid is not a monday night drug
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
