I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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