The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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