No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
