Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
