It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the room spins SO much faster in panama
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
