If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
love makes seman taste better
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
