he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
