Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
