Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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