I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
