Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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