every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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