If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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